Sunday, August 9, 2009

Walking tour of the Creation Museum Part II: The Quickening

I apologize for the various and terrible quality of the pictures you are about to see. Enjoy!

This picture is likely highly indicative of the rest of the museum. Let's see what happens, shall we?

Those sharp claws on his feet are for slicing lettuce. There is a salad spinner behind the sign.

Mel Brooks decided to make a special guest appearance. He was displaying the fifteen ten commandments.

Maybe there IS hope for this museum after all! *shifty eyes*

"Om nom nom nom nom"

This lamb looks like he's scared of being raped.

"Really? Vegetables?"

Did I mention that these wax dummies look way too eerily realistic? If they spent as much time actually providing substance to their exhibits as they did trying to make eerie, lifelike dummies, they'd give the Smithsonian a run for its money.

There was not enough room to finish the sentence. It should have read, "The world's not safe anymore for people with IQs above 10 with museums like this still being funded!"

Here we see two people particularly angered by the paparazzi. Apparently they weren't willing to sign the release and their pictures were used anyway!

After killing his brother, Abel, Cain has to sneeze like a motherfucker. Abel's first invention, pepper spray, doesn't work anywhere near as well as he'd have liked.

Completely undecided as to what this was telling us not to touch, we hands-on Atheists decided to begin investigating. It turned out that nobody cared...except maybe the one guy. You'll see him.

Discovered by one of the members of the party with which I was touring the Museum, we come to the real heart of the issue. There is nothing on Earth besides the United States and, perhaps, part of Canada and Mexico. It is a stunningly accurate commentary on the educational system of many religious areas of Kentucky.

The museum was kind enough to embolden some of the more important words of this quote from one of the books of Peter. I think we could do without all the rest of the empty text. "Willingly ignorant word of god" seems to be good enough for me.

Here we have what I can only imagine is Hebrew...sort of.
It's time for a quick Hebrew lesson.


Let's begin, if you will humor me, from the right side. Hebrew is written right to left. Let us begin with the awkward blob of letter that looks like a K who has seen better days. THIS IS NOT A HEBREW LETTER. Awesome. If it is supposed to be a tsadi or an aleph, it is a tsadi or aleph made exclusively of fail.

Next, we come to the letter Resh. The only problem with this letter is that it has been flipped 180 degrees.

Thirdly, we hit the Hebrew letter Vov which is both correctly oriented and in the proper proportion. Let's move on. Nothing to see here.

Fourthly, we have what is called "Fey." Besides the fact that the letter is the mirror image of how it was supposed to be, it is fine...except for one thing:

This is Fey in it's so called "Final" form. This letter, if it is to be in the sentence AT ALL, should be switched with the letter farthest on the left...which is funny because that letter is a Fey also! It is also flipped over itself.

So, creation museum...whatever you were going for didn't quite work.

EDIT: Jen got the video of me explaining this at the creation museum. I am aware I pointed the wrong way when I mention the end of the word...It had been a long day. Spare me please. =P


  1. The worst part of it was that I didn't even notice to begin with. I had not even read in hebrew in the last year and a half...I went to look around at all the other languages before I said, "Well, let's see what the Hebrew one ACTUALLY says. HMM...OKAY THEN."

  2. Awesome, that was a fun trip, it was good to meet you Mark. I was the tall guy in the Carl Sagan is my Homeboy t-shirt.

  3. It was great to meet you too! Hopefully, I'll see you at some other atheist meet-up type thing!

  4. Ha! I got that Carl Sagan shirt for Christmas.

  5. The salad spinner pushed me over the edge. Classic.

  6. So, at the end, it does not have any meaning at all? Dissapointing...

  7. the arabic is all messed up too and on pharyngula some posters were saying the other languages are fail too.

    I can only guarantee hebrewfail and arabicfail.

  8. Well, the Russian (at least that looks like it's supposed to be Russian to me) is just the first four letters of the Cyrillic alphabet, but the "A" looks like it can't decide if it's upper or lower case.

    The Greek looks like a random string of consonants. Yep, not one single vowel.

  9. As a visual aid for those of us not familiar with the Hebrew alphabet:


    Interesting they left the vowels out of the Greek alphabet, being that their inclusion was a revolutionary step for literacy and writing.